The Washington Freak Show Hall of Shame

Top Washington Freaks Make The Excrement List

We have had many freaks in and out of Washington DC throughout the centuries. In the past the press has covered up for them very well. We all know JFK was a sex and drug addict but during his administration none of this information about the ten prescription medications for war injuries or his multiple affairs was ever reported by the press. So there is limited information out there about past
scandals such as Eleanor Roosevelt and her alleged lesbian encounters. Sad, scandal is always entertaining and brings these elitist snobs down to the everyday mans level. We all chuckle and revel at the same time.

From the information we have what are the most freakish people too ever grace the hallowed halls of the United States Congress, US Senate and Presidency? Here is my take but by no means is this absolute.

10. Wilber Mills from Arkansas. This dates me but I was fascinated as a youth as to how the ever perfect congressman could get involved with some HOT stripper from Argentina. Annabelle Battistella, better known as Fanne Foxe was married for god’s sake! Every male 14 year old kid was totally enthralled at this scandal. Should we higgledy-piggledy old geezers and feminazi bra burners who take a dim view of such affairs of the heart. Mr. Hart got the big thumbs down at the convention even though he was leading in delagates. I hope the trade off was worth it.

9. Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings his slave at the time seemed to be doing the horizontal tango in secret for quite a few years. DNA test in 1998 proved Thomas (or one of his relatives) was fathering children with Sally. Who would have thought it? The master picking out the best looking slave for a little extracurricular activity. No you don’t say!

8. Grover Cleveland wins his election despite opponents making an issue of his illegitimate child with chants of “Ma, ma, where’s my pa? / Gone to the White House, ha, ha, ha.” Must have been a big deal back in the day. Must not have been that big of a deal because he won two nonconsecutive terms at the height of the Victorian era. 1885-1889 and 1893 to 1897. Even in the most socially repressive eras where there is a will theres a way. Something to keep in mind as the messiah will soon be our president. Yes we can!

7. Wayne L. Hayes, from Ohio Chairman of the House Administration Committee, resigned after a scandal broke involving his giving a raise to his mistress, Secretary Elizabeth Ray. She later told reporters “I can’t type. I can’t file. I can’t even answer the phone.” Cool way to use the power of the government. Another reason I read Time Magazine in the 70’s. That babe was smoking HOT! We forgive you Wayne. You set the standard and the standard was high.

6. The Miami Herald reported on a jaunt20between Colorado senator and presidential candidate Gary Hart and a 29-year-old Miami model named Donna Rice on a yacht called Monkey Business in the Caribbean resort of Bimini. Of course this revelation came about as Mr. Hart was winning the presidential primaries and delegate count with eventual nominee Walter Mondale. Unfortunately for Mr. Hart democrats have super delegates. And super delegates tend to be higgledy-piggledy old geezers and feminazi bra burners who take a dim view of such affairs of the heart. Mr. Hart got the big thumbs down at the convention even though he was leading in delagates. I hope the trade off was worth it.

5. Senator Bob Packwood of Oregon apologizes after 10 women accuse him of sexual harassment and later resigns after the ethics committee found him guilty of sexual misconduct. Talk about a pattern! This guy is a textbook example of what a sexual predator is. Well besides Bill. Put his picture as the poster boy for sexual harassment. Old ugly white guy with power desperate to have sex with any female dumb enough to submit. Yea that’s Bob Packwood. I bet when he was a kid he coined the phrase “if it’s old enough to bleed it’s old enough to breed.”

4. Sexual emails and instant messages between Congressman Mark Foley from, I am ashamed to admit it, Florida, and congressional pages surface just before the November 2006 midterm election. Hey Mark you’re a old disgusting man. Do you think a 16 year old would be interested in sex with you? Really? Creep.

3. Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho pleads guilty to disorderly conduct in a men’s room and a police officer testifies he was soliciting sex. Wow Larry we really didn’t know you were gay. Really! But hey dude drag your state and party down with you. Why not? It’s all about the life style and a paycheck right? Nothing like getting a bj while the wife is at the house with the Mormon ladies right? Another creep.

2. News of President Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinsky comes to light through a sexual-harassment suit against him by Paula Jones. Bill, dude, there are two things you should have done. First admit the affair. Second…, PLEASE dude you are (were) the President. The President for christ sakes! I was saddened not so much that you were having an affair but you choose Monica Lewinsky. Your better than that! Does the name Fanny Foxe ring a bell? Elizabeth Ray? Dude I saw you at Valencia Community College in 1996. You are so much better. To say I was disapointed in your choice of women would be the understatement of the decade. I was EXTREMELY disappointed when Monica’s picture was released to the press. Come on Bill! Do me a favor. Authorize a release of a scandal with one of your current babes. Make me proud. I know you have it in you. Show the world Monica was just a fluke. Redeem yourself Bill!

1. David Vitter of Louisiana is reported to be on the phone records of a Washington madam. Then the scum holds a press conference with his beautiful wife at his side and cries like a wimp. What a total scum. Tell your wife to stay home next time. You and Spitzer are tied for number one because of your despicable practice of having your wives next to you during your little Exposé to the world of your indiscretions. Ugh that was just GROSS! Disappear dude and reappear in the 22nd century. You should be publicly spit upon till you get completely covered in saliva. You getting my drift?

I feel bad for some of the ladies behind these men but not all. Vitter and New York Governor Eliot Spitzer both have beautiful wives and children involved in these torrid scandals. If I was married to either one of these women I would thank my lucky stars everyday I was with them. Frankly its gut wrenching to watch these news conferences with these creepy men and their beautiful wives at there side spilling their indiscretions to the media. I hope in the future these men (and women if the case arises) will have the decency to tell their wives (or husbands) to stay home for these horrid spectacles. I have no sympathy for these jerks. My sympathy is for the wives who suffer in silence at the betrayal and public humiliation they have suffered through no fault of their own.

As for Hillary there was a pattern. The time for tears was back in 1988. That time came and went. She made a choice agree or disagree. I hope it works out well for her. For all her faults she didn’t deserve to be treated like she was, either from Bill or her father. I hope the marriage last till death. She earns respect points but also needs to be reminded on a daily basis all men are not like Bill or her father.

As for Wilber Mills and Wayne Hayes I don’t know if I should thank them or condemn them. Certainly they peeked my interest in politics back in the day. Those scandals made reading Time Magazine so much more enjoyable and fascinating. It was a needed break from Emily Post and Watergate. A peek into the underside of humanity. All us teenagers at the time secretly cheered and wished we were in your place. Now that we are older, we cherish the brief moments we have with our families and children. We question your motivations and wonder how you could lose sight of what is really important in your declining years. We all get old and die. All that really matters is our children and family. You lost sight of that in your pursuit of self satisfaction and immortality. The glitter has faded and so has the memories of your exploits.

Barney Frank and others who had their positions of trust and power compromised were intentionally left out of the list. They are freaks but when some jerk cost you $150,000 on your 401K because of his desire for high quality sex with CEO’s it’s not that funny. Hopefully Frank will get his just rewards soon. CBS putting on a fluff peice on 60 minutes will not rehabiltate Frank.